I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
