Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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