4 words: hood of his car
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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