i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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