im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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