I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
