Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i've created a new STD.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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