its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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