Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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