i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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