I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
