ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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