Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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