Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
