her vagine was all disorganized.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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