I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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