Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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