FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
