is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
