i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
