super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
