Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
