Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
