if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
