Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
