I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
