I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
