Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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