When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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