I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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