Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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