She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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