I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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