I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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