More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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