oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
