...so i touched it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
