Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
