Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
