thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
