She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
