You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
