Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
