theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
