So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
