Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
