I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
