What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
