I think I am morally bankrupt
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
