If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
