She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
